rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
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