i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
Randomize
