Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Randomize
