I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Randomize
