I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
