it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
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