Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
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