I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
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