thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize
