did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
Randomize
