and you said cock pushups were impossible
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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