If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
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