i'm signing you up for texting rehab
Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
I smell like Dick and happiness
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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