That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
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