Christians are straight up FREAKS
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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