Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
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