And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
