I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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