You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
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