fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
