I skipped work to stalk him.
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize