Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
Your cock deserves a montage
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
Randomize
