I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
he quoted the bible to break up with me
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Brb crying the tears of my youth
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
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