Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
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