i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
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