This girl is more easily done than said...
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Randomize
