At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Randomize
