Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
Randomize
