Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Randomize
