Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Randomize
