also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
