you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
I think a kid would responsible me up
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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