So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
The power of my boobs compel you
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Randomize
