I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
