i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
She even gives head with a lisp.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
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