I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
We had to coat check the pizza.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
