Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Randomize
