I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
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