If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
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All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
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Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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