keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
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