Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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