Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
