ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
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