I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
If I die, sorry about rent.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
Randomize
