If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
Randomize
