I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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