Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
Can I color on your dick again?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
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