I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
