New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
