You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
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