i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
