He told me they were just razor bumps!
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
Where are you guys?
Drunk
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