Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
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You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
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Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
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