I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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