The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
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