I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Randomize
