so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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