you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize