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• (813): View more from Florida

  I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.

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• (336): View more from North Carolina

  I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.

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• (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.

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• (325): View more from Texas

  She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...

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• (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level

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• (641): View more from Iowa

  and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving

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• (504): View more from Louisiana

  So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.

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• (616): View more from Michigan

  You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.

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• (909): View more from California

  So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?

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• (423): View more from Tennessee

  We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.

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• (757): View more from Virginia

  I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.

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• (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with

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• (202): View more from Washington, DC

  Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night

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• (210): View more from Texas

  Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?

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• (978): View more from Massachusetts

  No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.

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