I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
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