3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
You're a womanizer and a bitch.
if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
I want a musical about memes.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
