I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
Randomize
