yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
Randomize
