Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Randomize