so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Randomize
