why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
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