You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
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If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
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I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
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