Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
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