piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
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