OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Randomize
