omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
Why did my mother make you get naked?
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
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