Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
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