Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize
