Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
Randomize
