ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
